Poor John Giduck. Always the victim. Didn’t he write a book about NOT being a victim? Do as he says and not as he does, I guess. Anyone else find it odd how misunderstanding seems to follow John Giduck like a $5 crack whore to a crack pipe. Does anyone else really have this amount of misunderstanding in their life? Perhaps, I should have satirically entitled this article, “Crack and Me – The Story of John Giduck’s Life“.  Of course, the “f” in “life” would best be left silent to be accurate.

This blog post continues the analysis by the Russians of Terror At Beslan author and POW Network confirmed military poser John Giduck‘s SOBR Lynx certificate. This time, John Giduck posted a vigorous defense of his fake certificate…let’s see what the Russian experts have to say about that.

On 5 February 2012,  John Giduck posted the following in response to uncomfortable questions about his poorly written SOBR Lynx certificate posted as “proof” of John Giduck’s claims.  John Giduck’s words are in normal text and  “L Gritsenko” ‘s words are in italics…

Update February 5, 2012

We have been asked to add the following in response to assertions by those on SOCnet.com that this certificate is a fake and using “unknown” sources supposidly contacted with Russian Police as verification, and that the Russian letter is “borderline illiterate”:

“I just spoke with Sergey about it. He got pissed when I told him about accusation that the letters are fake. The Russian officials at MOI are trained to give their full name on the phone. Sergey says that you can ask this person who claimed that he or she has called Russian MOI who was the official they had spoken to. Sergey told me if somebody wants to call him and discuss how well they can speak Russian they will be more then happy to explain it in every flavor of their native language.”

L Gritsenko

The only thing missing is the phrase, “Please clap your ass cheeks for the man skank for all seasons, John Giduck!”.  Sorry, that kind of statement would more likely come from Chester, PA Police Commissioner Joseph “Golddigger” Bail – who as a public figure has latched himself onto the Archangel Group’s gravy train trying to be the most powerful, shameless and richest gold digger since Heather Mills…at all of our tax dollar expense.

But, back on track….

Lets look at the certificate in more detail. I’ll post the English language translation so you can follow along at home.

john Giduck fake certificate english

The actual analysis by the Russians is done on the Russian version of the document. Below I have posted a numbered version so the references are clear. The numbers in the analysis correspond to the numbers below…

John Giduck fake russian sobre lynx

Let’s start as always at the beginning. Russian expert commentary is in italics from here on. The numbers are references to the numbered document above in Russian.

1. Tautology.

Easy start. You can read what tautology is at the link.

2. “Objective and fair coverage” (Объективное и правдивое освещение) of events in the Nord-Ost and Beslan? It is unlikely that the person who wrote the certificate, had read the works of Giduck. 

Ok…perhaps John Giduck will come back and claim that “L Gritsenko” actually read the book.  Who knows.  Nothing surprises me about John Giduck anymore.

3. “Your publishings” (“Ваши издания”) – does not sound Russian. “Публикации” (publications), “работы” (works), “труды” (magnum opus) – the mass of synonyms to refer to human activities, positioning yourself as an expert in anything. Well, indeed, one can argue, I suppose.

Rut-roh.  The language analysis is revealing the first problems with the Russian certificate.  Don’t worry there’s more.

4. “You approach the study of the problem” (“Подходите к изучения проблемы”). Error in the case. Of course, in Russia, a plaque may miss the whole line, but in case of this certificate this is not the only mistake.

Error in case.  This becomes far more important later on. The author above also says that any certificate may have an error in one line but this isn’t the only error.

5. Stylistic error. You don’t pay attention “of something” . It’s attention to “something.” You learn this in elementary school.

In my opinion, this is one of the most obvious errors that the document was not written by a native Russian speaker.  I doubt an active duty colonel would make such an error.

6. “Help in communication” – a very common cliche in America. “Communication”. Never saw this figure of speech being used in Russia on official documents. Although, I don’t own this kind of certificate.

Now the Russian Ministry of the Interior uses American cliches?  Unlikely.  Remember that John Giduck’s other certificate also has the English language keyboard problem as well.

7. “Some things” are used for training – just a clumsy phrase, well, let’s say, too, is debatable.

Ok..we’ll give John Giduck the benefit of the doubt on #7.  I am a fair person and there is no vendetta here.

8. “Practically apply” – again, too clumsy and a literate translation of English text. In Russia, would say “put into practice,” because “practically” here is analogous to the word “almost.” They “nearly apply” something?

Noted.  Another close call.

Now for some analysis by the Russians:

I remind you that the English version in terms of spelling and style – flawless.

and then we move on to this gem

I note that “L. Gritsenko,” speaks a very beautiful English language. That is, he even knows the difference between the verb and the past indefinite past perfect – usually for the Russian people quite a pain. I’m not even mentioning the definite and indefinite articles being properly used, which, for example, I despite of having a rich, more than 20 years worth of practice conversing in English, still sometimes confuse. In the English version of MOI site it is just obvious by the structure of sentences and errors in the articles that it was written by a Russian speaker, so it means that “L.Gritsenko” does not update that site, which is a pity. Curious person is this “L. Gritsenko.” He confuses Russian noun cases and phrases but he’s a pro in English.

A Russian Colonel that confuses Russian noun cases and phrases but is a pro in English. Oh, that will leave a mark. Perhaps John Giduck will claim that the good Colonel rapped the text to his secretary or something.

Still have doubts as to the certificate’s authenticity? I don’t believe that I do. You can read the full text of the Russian John Giduck SOBR Lynx certificate analysis too…have any friends that read Russian look at it too to confirm what is being said on this blog. It’s startling how comprehensive their analysis is and the sheer number of misleading and inaccurate statements by John Giduck they have found. Great work by them.

I can imagine John Giduck’s lip gloss holder SGM John “Judas” “Andy” Anderson in his best RuPaul voice saying to John Giduck, “guuuuuuuuuuuuurl, what’s that smell? Did you crap your pants again? Sometimes you make the money and sometimes you make the dookie. Let me clean that up for you, honey

Clearly, John Giduck and Archangel Group take their customer base to be idiots.


John Giduck Clings To Flawed & Improbable 5 September 2004 Beslan Arrival

What Did Joe Bail Contribute During His “Terror At Beslan” Fact Finding Trip?

Are John Giduck And Archangel’s Yuri Ferdigalov Fooling Everyone Again?

John Giduck And William “Bill” Hillar: Similar Peas In A Posing Pod